[EF#8] A Letter To My(10-year-ago)self

Dear my younger self …

Don’t be surprised by this ‘magical’ letter…. I’m actually writing you this as a response to EF Challenge. I was once thinking of skipping it, but I’m finally glad that I didn’t. It turned out that this, so far, is my most favorite challenge among all. It made me contemplating a lot about us; the 10-year-ago you, and the 10-year-later me. It may sound weird, but really…, I honestly hope that somewhere in a mind-blowing unparalleled universe, you can somehow read this letter …..

When I let my mind wandering back to the years of your existence, I might say that I envy you quite a lot.

You’re always so high-spirited. You grabbed any opportunities that come your way and delivered it well. You had 3 jobs at once, your day was never quiet. You run from offices to tv station to your humanitarian activities, almost every single day. I wonder… did you ever feel tired?

Now that I think about it…., I envy you but at the same time I also pity you.. You were so busy catching up dreams that you forgot to embrace yourself… You let your energy drained by all those activities, sometimes you even skipped meals, and those were pretty much the reasons why you got hospitalized quite often. Don’t, ….please just don’t…, take your health for granted !!

My dear li’l me ….

Ten years ago the You that I know is so not into anything girly. The only things you put on your face was a Nivea lotion, a Pigeon powder, and … that’s pretty much it… You might be very surprised to find out that now your mornings and nights are filled with bottles of Korean skincare and those tiring facial routines, just to keep your skin as young as what you used to have ….. ^___*

I’m LOL-ing the fact that you put so little products on your face because you were just afraid of having your skin growing old too soon, and now you put so many skincare on your face, for pretty much the same reason… haha!! 😉

By the way, ever since I could even remember, Pa had planted the seed of going abroad inside of us…. That’s the reason why you were like a scholarship-junky for some years… You pushed yourself hard to get out of our ‘lovely’ country that, back then, seemed not that lovely. You may hate this fact, but really, after 10 years you will find yourself living and breathing all things Indonesia, while trying to conquer the culture of the Dutch.

When contemplating our life as one, I suddenly realized that in a world where everything seems fast-forwarding, I find myself enjoying life in a quite slower pace. This, I know, is totally not you… Maybe the fact of me being a SAHM contributed a lot to that.

In any ways, you were certainly not a mother-material. But now, every day you wake up thanking God that you are blessed with such wonderful kiddos. I have to tell you, Abang and Noni are kiddos to die for 😉

Owh….I have a funny fact I’d like to tell you…. I recalled there were moments where you felt so proud with your achievements; when you got those scholarships, when you got promoted, when you received award, etc. But I, with so much proud in my heart, tell you that right now being able to cook Sambal Bu Rudy with the same taste as the original, is a kind of achievement for me…. Hahahaaa!!!

You can’t put price on it when, after hours of cooking, you saw the kiddos smiling at you and saying, “Bedankt Bunda voor lekker eten…” Aaahhhhhh…… 😀

One thing I remember well is that whenever life gave you lemons, you put it into a trash can and went after the one you want. You know what….? The You who’s writing you this letter is the opposite; when life gave me lemons, I go find sugar and made it into lemonade. It’s true… I learned to embrace whatever coming my ways, and to humbly accept things that I cannot change. Well….., just deal with it; we used to be a risk-taker, but now we are a proud risk-averse (haha!).

I suppose that’s how people are becoming, when they grow old ^___*

Hey you, younger me ….

I think my letter is too long to the point that I’m afraid it’s become a boring one to enjoy…. But before I close this, I want to remind you to spend more times with our Pa and Ma. Living far from home makes me realized that I spent so little time with them.. That’s the thing I most regret right now..

At last, I’m thankful for any decisions you had made and path you had taken during your times, because those are all that brought me to where I am now ….. And I want you to remember this: God’s promises never fail….

Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

XOXO,

-Your 10-year-later self-

lettertomyself

Psstt…. I just noticed that after 10 years have gone by, many things might have changed but only one thing remains; my winter jacket hahaha!! Let’s just say that I’m a vintage person ^_____*

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. Ryan says:

    Mba… Ah reading this made feel that I know you more.

    So you are a scholarship recipient? Wow. I have burried my dream on that. Or should I pursue it again.

    I thought you only have one kid. Turns out you already have two.

    Yes. I agree with you Mba. Growing old means that we are adapting and changing. I feel the same about myself also.

    Btw what is SAHM?

    1. Is this letter revealing too much about myself?? Hahahaa…
      Yes I think I was blessed with those scholarships.. Not that I am brilliant or anything… But I think God granted my wishes to travel abroad often hahahaa…
      I would say that you must not bury any dreams you have, including the dream of getting scholarship… You never now what life has for you in store…

      SAHM means Stay-At-Home-Mom, a title that I’m now so proud of … Hehe…

      Thank you for reading this thoroughly, Ryan… I was afraid that this post is too long and too boring for one to enjoy haha….

      1. Ryan says:

        I really enjoying your post Mba.
        Still rethinking about the scholarship Mba. Why do I need to get that? How it helps my life? Bla bla bla.

      2. Aside from the knowledge, the experience itself is very worth having… Many people can easily study abroad these days…. But having it through a scholarship, it’s an added value, not just to the experience as a whole, but also for your self satisfaction and personal pride ….
        C’mon…. I cheer you on from here…. 🙂

      3. Ryan says:

        Thank you so much. Arghh. Now I want to browse for scholarship.

  2. Ninda Frisky says:

    totally agree on that ‘sambal’ part… now that i live abroad, one of the thing that make me happy is being able to cook Indonesian food the same taste as the original :))

    1. Hahahaa… I’m glad that I’m not alone on this 😄

  3. Gara says:

    Sambal Bu Rudi is one of the most delicious sambals that I’ve tried :hihi.
    A lot of things had happened in 10 years, hadn’t it? But I think that we should make those things teach us to be a better person, to live the fullest life that we could, wherever we are. That’s the lesson I’ve learned by reading your letter.

    This is a great one. And it’s awesome, too, since you had written this letter before posted it online, if I’m not mistaken?

    1. Yesss….. And the level of spiciness is the craziest I’ve ever tasted in my entire culinary life hahaha….
      I agree with you…. Many things could (and should) happened within those 10 years… Take the bad as life-lessons and the good as happy memories, and you might find yourself a better person than you were before….

      Haha…. I consider myself a pen-and-paper girl (or woman in my case haha!), because I love writing things on my notebook.. I even write my groceries list in a piece of paper instead of using note on my handphone… I guess I’m an old-schooler .. 😀

      1. Gara says:

        I have tasted Bu Rudi’s and strangely I think it wasn’t that spicy. At least, not as spicy as I had thought before :peace :hehe.

      2. Maannn!! You surely have a good level of tolerance for spicy food.. As for me, a pinch of that sambal caused me to have 3x more portion than I normally ate, and 6x more times to the toilet than I normally had hahahaa 😅

  4. Ami says:

    Even though you write a long letter, but it’s not boring at all, Mbak Patricia. I learn a lot from your story. And… I think I should prepare to pursue a scholarship to study abroad from now 😀
    Thanks for inspiring me in a beautiful way, Mbak 🙂

    1. Awwhh… thanks a lot Ami … It’s so sweet of you…. Yes, I also think you should… I’m cheering you from here … ^____^

  5. riemikan says:

    I didn’t know that you are a member of BEC! Anyway, yes living overseas often makes me think of my parents as well and sometimes regret that I didn’t spend more time with them when I was still living at home.

    1. Well, I need a forum to maintain my proficiency, otherwise it’ll be forgotten hahaha…
      Do you visit them often? We try to visit them every year to make up for lost times…..

      1. riemikan says:

        True dat 😊. Same with us here ☺️

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